waking up in pain.

Hello World,

Happy Sunday . You may be on your way to church, temple or  cooking up a yummy country breakfast for the family. Whatever may be cherish your time together.

I went to bed in pain, only to wake up in pain. I hate that. When it’s bad at night I usually hope to wake up with relief for a little while at least. But I didn’t. I woke up at 7 something only to reach over and medicate then head to a hot Epsom salt bath. I don’twant to be tied to the bed. I dont want to feel like my legs are failing me. To be honest, i don’t  even want to deal with any of it, and would rather run away!!  But, we all know. Where ever you go, there you are.

I hope my experience brings light to this disease. I hope my pain brings awareness. Even if it’s just one single person who reads this, then later on remembers these symptoms. They could literally save someone from a raging war.

I always feel very scattered, So I am trying to stay focused and clear with my thoughts. That’s probably one of the worst symptoms, for me any wayz… The headfog/ twilight zone/ alice in wonderland feeling. Totally disconnection from the world, as if you are in a big bubble..

In a way my body has been hi-jacked. Taken over by terriosts! They come and invade, disabling you from the inside out. Everyone says “oh, you don’t look sick.” I’m not sure what to make of that??  But Oh, ” you don’t look like a doctor”. Forgive them for they do not know, or could they understand until they ever meet the terriost themselves.

Josh and Maddy just left for Church. It is very overwhelming for me to go there. With that said…It has been a long time. The lights, sitting still, too many people, having to try and comrehend. WOW!!! Thats a big task… Imagine being drunk and trying to sit in church. Thats how it would feel. It is just temporary.

For the God we serve Is bigger and better than this, all of this. Sickness, death, terrorism, murderers, this isnt it.. It is just a briefing before the real thing. But a moment in time. It helps when I tell myself that. If my suffering is for a lifetime, it still just a moment compared to eternity.

Pain free. I can’t even imagine anymore what it would be like to just wake up normal. Its just been too long. My doctor says  ” I see people get better, but it’s a slow process”. I guess I have all the time in the world, right? The scary thing is, it will get worse before it gets better AND treatment is a year…I can’t even imagine. I have two weeks to the countdown..Then I will be taking Zithromax and Mepron.

(also known as Atovaquone, Malarone) This is Mepron

Atovaquone is used to treat and to prevent Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (PCP), a very serious kind of pneumonia. This particular kind of pneumonia occurs commonly in patients whose immune systems are not working normally, such as cancer patients, transplant patients, and patients with acquired immune deficiency sy… continue

I tried for two weeks last time and I thought I was going to die. I believe I would have ended up extremely ill if i had continued on. Imagine..being tied up in a chair, with a needle hanging out your arm, and someone punches you over and over. That is what Mepron felt like for me.

My doctors says my “gut” needs to be restored, and when i,t is my immune system and everything else will be able to handle that type of treatment. But, if the guts not working, nothing will.  I am seeing  Dr. Trang in San Diego, she works under Dr.Yang. I feel she is very confident and educated, and am hoping she will be able to assist in getting me into remission.

Well World,

I will meet with you later. I must go nourish my body and get a shake. Beautiful Sunday morning to you!

Muah~

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About lymelife10

where to begin...loving, married mommy of two beautiful girls.. fighting a daily battle with lyme disease and babesia microti.. awh..so much to say..
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