every thing for a reason

I want to blog. I usually lay in bed for some time and think about it before I actually get on the computer. I think ” all the effort..spellcheck, capitalizing, punctuation,” “oh my”

May sound silly to you but takes a lot of work.

I’m sick. My body is at that shut down mode..I haven’t taken any of my meds today. Have had heavy vomiting the last few days. Its like war in my stomach..Like being hung over from tequilla, then someone sticking the bottle to your nose.

My head space is off. I feel like an old boarded up vacant motel 6 in the middle if the desert.

I base what I am gonna eat on how bad it will burn later when I throw it up. (Mind you my selection is very limited to begin with ) 83 percent of the time, I do not have an appetite to begin with, so its like trying to get blood from a turnip. ( is that how the saying goes ? )

I am very grateful to my brother and his wife . They have really been a huge help and support. They came into town this weekend and cooked a beautiful dinner for my family. Julie made a whole batch of something for us to make during the week. Good thing..cuz pretty soon my kids would have been asking the neighbors for a jelly sandwich. ( Josh does a great job )

I used to love to cook. Not that I was any good, but I liked trying new recipes. Now I couldn’t make a salad and boil water at the same time if I had to.

I feel yucky. I think this is what it feels like to die. I get like 20 minute spurts of energy then im down for hours.

Other Lyme sufferers are amazing. I believe people who suffer daily are on a whole different level on consciousness.. You dont struggle to live daily and not be changed.

I feel super scattered and all over the place.

My brother David is coming in town tomorrow from Vegas.

I hope this isn’t our last goodbye.

I want to share…

whatever happens I am in Gods hands.

What ever it is.. I just want it to hurry..

If I’m to get well, let it be now.

If im to go home to be with the Lord, let it be now..

I just want to not be sick anymore. I am emotionally detaching from my husband and children out of possible fear.

I need an immediate intervention of the heart. I want to want to fight for my children. If you pray please pray for me..

much love

these are just the ups and downs that come from Lyme Disease


About lymelife10

where to begin...loving, married mommy of two beautiful girls.. fighting a daily battle with lyme disease and babesia microti.. awh..so much to say..
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One Response to every thing for a reason

  1. Dawn says:

    Hey girl. I am one of your Lyme Facebook friends, but we haven’t ever chatted. 🙂 I have read your posts lately, and I can definitely relate to what you are saying. This journey is so difficult. It’s hard to get up enough mental strength to do the things that come so easily to others, and if that’s not enough, it’s extremely hard to actually do those tasks that others are doing! It’s hard to battle day after day the awful symptoms that others do not understand, and it’s extremely hard not to want to throw in the towel and surrender that white flag. However, maybe it’s at that point of surrender where God wants us so He can minister to us the most. I have learned so much on this journey that I would honestly say I don’t think I would have learned otherwise (even though I would have much preferred an easier path 😛 ). God has you on this earth for a purpose girl. He has given you the blessing of a husband and a family who loves you. He is going to bring you through this because He has a mission for you to fulfill. Stay strong and fight. Fight with everything you have and when you feel like giving up, fight harder. Lyme will not win! Let me pray for you….Heavenly Father, I pray for this precious child of yours. I pray that you will give her strength and refresh her spirit. I pray that you will give her courage to fight this battle and that her family and friends will rally around her. She is a child of the King, a princess of the God who reigns over every disease. Lord, every sickness and disease bows in your presence. I pray for complete healing. In your name….You are in my prayers girl! Hang in there!! We will make it and when we do, we will be unstoppable for His Kingdom!

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