I want to blog. I usually lay in bed for some time and think about it before I actually get on the computer. I think ” all the effort..spellcheck, capitalizing, punctuation,” “oh my”
May sound silly to you but takes a lot of work.
I’m sick. My body is at that shut down mode..I haven’t taken any of my meds today. Have had heavy vomiting the last few days. Its like war in my stomach..Like being hung over from tequilla, then someone sticking the bottle to your nose.
My head space is off. I feel like an old boarded up vacant motel 6 in the middle if the desert.
I base what I am gonna eat on how bad it will burn later when I throw it up. (Mind you my selection is very limited to begin with ) 83 percent of the time, I do not have an appetite to begin with, so its like trying to get blood from a turnip. ( is that how the saying goes ? )
I am very grateful to my brother and his wife . They have really been a huge help and support. They came into town this weekend and cooked a beautiful dinner for my family. Julie made a whole batch of something for us to make during the week. Good thing..cuz pretty soon my kids would have been asking the neighbors for a jelly sandwich. ( Josh does a great job )
I used to love to cook. Not that I was any good, but I liked trying new recipes. Now I couldn’t make a salad and boil water at the same time if I had to.
I feel yucky. I think this is what it feels like to die. I get like 20 minute spurts of energy then im down for hours.
Other Lyme sufferers are amazing. I believe people who suffer daily are on a whole different level on consciousness.. You dont struggle to live daily and not be changed.
I feel super scattered and all over the place.
My brother David is coming in town tomorrow from Vegas.
I hope this isn’t our last goodbye.
I want to share…
whatever happens I am in Gods hands.
What ever it is.. I just want it to hurry..
If I’m to get well, let it be now.
If im to go home to be with the Lord, let it be now..
I just want to not be sick anymore. I am emotionally detaching from my husband and children out of possible fear.
I need an immediate intervention of the heart. I want to want to fight for my children. If you pray please pray for me..
these are just the ups and downs that come from Lyme Disease